As winter drags on in Utah, I am longing for spring. It has been a hard winter, as they often are for me. The cold and gloom pull me down and hold me captive.
Meh, a feeling of indifference or boredom, has plagued me now for many weeks. I’ve been able to get my running back, which helps manage the depression, but the runs often begin and end in the dark. I think my body is desperate for some Vitamin D. Evenings are getting longer, but the desired warmth has not yet arrived.
And so, meh is the best way to describe how I’ve been feeling.
But I am not a person who just accepts poor circumstances and takes them lying down. So I’ve been wracking my brain, the internet, and all my leadership experience to find solutions.
If the world was perfect and I could have my heart’s desire, I’d move back to Arizona. But that idea is fraught with issues. Foremost, my job. Can’t just pick up and move my job as Utah’s State Conservationist and work in Arizona!
When we face a difficult situation and the first and best solution isn’t realistic, we get stuck. Often, we can’t even get past that intense desire. Maybe it is a move, or a different job, or a new car, or a nicer home. We can latch onto those dreams and hold so tight that they drag us around and give us whiplash.
There is an adage that wherever you go, there you are. It is a significant statement for my current situation. I want to change my circumstances because I am looking only at the negative in Utah. I’m only seeing the parts I don’t like. And that negative pattern of thinking is going to follow me no matter what I do to change my circumstances.
When we let a single dream lead the way, we can lose sight of alternative solutions because we are hyper focused on what we can’t have rather than on what is in our control.
We need to shift the perspective on what we can have. Dreaming big is important and we should never completely let go of those dreams, but they aren’t the solution to finding happiness today. Happiness at the moment can’t depend on a future reality. We must cultivate it wherever we stand, here and now.
When I focus on solutions that are within my grasp, rather than waiting for the future to solve my problems, I see some tangible answers. Ideas bubble up that will help me enjoy the here and now.
- Connect with friends – When I’m meh, I isolate. Forcing myself to reach out to friends helps to pull me from the gloom.
- Vacation somewhere warm – Southern Utah and Arizona are only a few hours away…a brief trip with some warm weather and sunshine makes for a more manageable winter.
- Count your blessings – A gratitude practice is a simple yet powerful tool. Listing out everything you are grateful for, no matter how small, shifts the mind’s eye from the negative to the positive.
- Talk with a professional – Talk therapy provides an outlet for all the negative emotions and a neutral perspective to help refocus how we view the world.
When we feel pulled to make a giant sweeping change to our life circumstances, it is valuable to step back and make sure we are taking the little steps first. Until we can find peace in our current circumstance, a big change will not solve the problem. The next first step is always to evaluate what we can control today and make small steps towards improving our perspective on our current reality. It is only then, with clear eyes, we can truly decide if a sweeping change is the right answer.
