Life is full of circumstances that cause our hackles to rise and our emotions to flare. Before we know it, emotions can hijack our ability to think rationally and make sound decisions. Being mindful of our thoughts and emotions is a giant step towards maintaining self-control in tough situations.
But managing ourselves stretches beyond simply holding our tempers when situations get hot. Self-management is about the little and big actions we take each day to foster the strength and skills to stay calm and think with our pre-frontal cortex, even when emotions are rampant.
Below are seven specific strategies you can deploy to build your self-management skill set.
- Breathe 4-4-4 – Most people take shallow breaths and deprive ourselves from receiving all the oxygen that our bodies crave. Breathe deeply into your belly, hold for 4, then release, blowing out all your air and hold for 4. Rinse and repeat 4 times and you’ll get a much calmer perspective.
- Use the Unsent Email – Write an email or letter to a person who has offended you or is causing difficulties. Unload to the maximum but do not send. Let the email rest overnight and rewrite it professionally. By expressing the powerful emotions first in an unsent email, you will be in a much clearer headspace to write the real and professional email or letter.
- Prioritize sleep – Lack of sleep will affect your patience, flexibility, alertness and self-control. Skip the late night TV show and get to bed earlier to allow for 7 – 8 hours of sleep a night. Being well-rested builds ample strength to stay calm and collected, no matter the situation.
- Put Mental Recharge into your Schedule – Running from one task to another is not only unsustainable, it is detrimental to our health. Schedule time on your calendar to recharge for 5-10 minutes at various times throughout the day. Work it around times that you naturally feel a lull in your energy. And protect this time emphatically. Taking short recharge breaks adds up to a lot of extra energy to focus and manage yourself.
- Smile and Laugh More Often – When you smile and laugh, it signals to the brain that you are happy. Smiling and laughing can counteract negative thoughts and doubts. Even when you don’t feel like it, a smile or laugh triggers the muscles and nerves associated with happiness, which will help you maintain a positive approach to any problem.
- Talk with a Mentor or Coach – Sharing a difficult situation with a mentor, coach or other trusted advisor will help you reframe it. These advisors can look at a situation with no emotional attachment and help you step back and see things more clearly without the cloud of emotions impairing your judgment.
- Visualize Success – While simple, this one packs a powerful punch. Imagining your future desired outcome will help you better manage your decisions at the moment and maximize your ability to achieve that success.
By practicing these strategies, the muscles of self-management become stronger, allowing you to better position yourself to choose your response rather than allowing a reaction to take control. Pick one strategy a week and implement it every day until it becomes a habit. When a technique becomes habitual, adopt another one to incorporate into your life. Day by day, week by week, your ability to master self-management grows. And with a strong self-management skill set, you will better shape the outcomes you desire to achieve.
