Presence is a state of existing or occurring in the moment, in a place or time. Showing up and bringing your best to a project, your work, or the actions needed to achieve your goal requires you are both physically and mentally present.
Physical presence is important. Being present physically means everything from arriving on time to meetings to being at your kid’s soccer game. You cannot take action and move toward your goals if you do not show up. Not only is it a sign of respect for others and their time, but it is a sign of respect for yourself and what you want to accomplish in life. Keeping commitments to yourself and others is a form of physical presence.
Once, physical presence meant real in-person presence. As our world becomes more virtual, however, the idea of physical presence expands and changes. When you have a zoom meeting, for example, turning on the camera or coming off mute to speak and engage are forms of physical presence. It also means responding to email timely and returning phone calls. Digital technology, most times, has replaced being in person, but it does not change the need to show up.
Showing up physically is an important piece to accomplishing goals and achieving success. But it is only the first step. It is possible to show up physically without showing up mentally, but if you want to be successful, you cannot skip mental presence. If you believe that showing up physically is the only important aspect, you will fall short of your goals.
Mental presence is where the magic happens. Being present mentally is the key to reducing stress, managing your emotional and mental well-being, balancing work and life, and ultimately accomplishing your goals.
Multitasking is the exact opposite of showing up mentally and it erodes your ability to engage fully and get closer to whom you want to be and what you want to create in the world. The mind cannot do two things at once. That means that when multitasking, the brain is just switching back and forth quickly, but each switch takes time and slows the efficiency and effectiveness of the task at hand.
Ever pick up your phone and text your friends when you are in a zoom meeting? Have you been in a strategy meeting and you are checking emails instead of engaging? Ever try to conduct an analysis while chatting with a co-worker over the cubicle wall? Are you creating a grocery list while your kid is telling you about their day? If so, then you are not mentally present.
Now, as a mom, one of my goals is to have a connected relationship with my kids. Amidst the daily activities, homework, feeding, and carpools, I often struggle with staying mentally present with them. So I have to make a conscious decision to put aside everything when we are together.
Recently, I took my kids to the Clark Planetarium. Each time they saw a new display, they became excited and wanted to interact with it and me. I could have easily let them explore and have fun while I sat off to the sidelines and read emails or looked for a new dinner recipe. I would have been physically present with them, but if I had, I would have lost a critical opportunity to engage with my kids. Instead, I was mentally present, put my hand on the electric ball so my hair could stand on end, and we all shared a moment of fun. I showed up as the mom I desire to be.
We have to make these choices at the moment, and it is only with mindfulness that we can see when we are choosing to allow those distractions to take us away from our goal. It is the little things that can have the most lasting effects, and mental presence is the key to it all.
The next first step is to look for those things that distract you from the present moment. Is it your cell phone? Is it having the news playing in the background? Are you allowing notifications from your emails to pull you away? Or are you in an office that has a lot of chatter? Once you identify your distractions, then look for solutions such as putting your phone in a drawer, turning off notifications, or wearing noise-canceling headphones when you need to focus.
Options exist when you know the things that erode your mental presence and pull you away from your goals. And once you master mental presence, your ability to accomplish those goals will skyrocket.
