Being Afraid and Doing it Anyway

I have a tremendous fear of flying and really all travel. The physical act of being on a plane, in a car, or on a train is almost debilitating. I become convinced that my life will be over before I reach my destination.

Even as I write this, I am in a plane, 30,000 feet above solid ground. My stomach is in knots and with every bump, I go into panic mode. I hold the handrails for dear life, believing that I can single-handedly keep the plane aloft. It is so bad, another frequent flier has even recognized me as “that scared girl”.

Flying somewhat regularly is a condition of my job. For days in advance, I lose sleep, desperate for an excuse to save me.

Yet in all things, I have a choice. I could choose another career that involves less travel. But I love the impact I have on the world with the job I hold. And therefore, I have an obligation to perform the best I can at work, which means flying.

Fear pops up all over the place. Sometimes it is obvious, like my fear of flying. Other times, it is more subtle, like a fear of failing on a work assignment. Whatever shape the fear takes, it is present in every person.

Fear can interfere with our ability to achieve our goals. So how do we overcome fear?

The answer is simple – courage.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to feel afraid and still do it, anyway. When we have courage, we do not need to conquer the fear, but embrace it and bring it along for the ride. Building courage is a hard thing to do, however.

The first step is accepting the fear. Welcome the fear. Admit you are afraid and identify why. It helps to write your reasons for being afraid. Sometimes when you see your reasons on paper, you can realize how absurd some of your reasons are. This can lessen the fear. Fears hold less power when you acknowledge and name them.

Once you know the reasons you are afraid, you can evaluate them. For flying, I am scared turbulence will knock the plane out of the sky. With a little research, I have learned that air is not nothingness but fluid like water. Air changes shape and sometimes those changes in shape can rattle the airplane. The airplane can handle far more turbulence than occurs on a commercial flight.

While extra knowledge is helpful, it might not eliminate the fear all together. Evaluating statistics is also helpful. The likelihood of a plane crashing is 1 in 11 million. I am more likely to become President of the United States or to win an Olympic gold medal than to die in a plane crash. Again, it doesn’t eliminate the fear, but makes it easier to be courageous.

Another technique I’ve found helpful is deep breathing and meditation. Take off is the most troublesome part for me. Something about leaving the earth to soar in the skys just sends me into a tailspin. Breathing deeply calms my nerves and allows me to think more rationally.

Bottom line is that we all have fears, but if we want to achieve our goals, it is critical that we find the courage to take action. When we let fear stand in the way of our goals, we fail before we even try. While fear is a powerful motivator, bringing courage along for the ride allows us to feel the fear and do it anyway. When we can learn to do it anyway, the world becomes open to us in unimaginable ways.

While I don’t think I will ever be excited about flying, or even unafraid, these techniques have allowed me to build my courage. When a flight is in the plans, I know I can feel the fear and do it anyway.